I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
