Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize