I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
