oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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