My hair reeks of homosexuality.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize