I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
