Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
