drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
