I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Randomize