wrigley field is MILF paradise
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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