Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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