every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
