If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Damn victory sex feels great
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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