my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
