sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
All the doctor said was why
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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