You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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