Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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