So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize