ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
