I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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