Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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