hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
