New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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