no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think I sprained my soul last night
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
