What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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