dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
