You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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