Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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