He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
