i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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