You work out of a Hotel?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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