I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize