so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
