I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
