mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
