if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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