I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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