We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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