in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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