Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
