windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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