what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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