I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
