Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
