you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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