when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
