My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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