if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I love black thongs
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
