Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
