I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
