he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
