my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
