i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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