FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
