It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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