we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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