I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
