It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
