HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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