what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i now understand why vodka
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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