I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
