At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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