Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
